Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Poems for Sam

Rather swim with sharks on moonlit waves
And climb Mt. Everest with fingers thawed,
Outwit mama lions and papa bears
And rock climb for it all…

Than deal with this now,
Breathing up for air, drowning
Rebelling against it all,
Mourning, and so here we are

I don’t want it, not at all
No two steps back my dear
So standing still I seem to be
And the next move is lost at sea

Guilty I feel my friend
That cancer feels easier than this
Your journey blurred
By all of this bull shit!

Praise you
I have looked for a way to praise you.
Over many religions, many voices,
And my faith hides in the shadows.
If there were a time I needed guidance…
I look instead to my heart, and listen.

From the start it was special, you and I.
A walk from the past, a glimpse into the future.
Sunsets and magic, we understood it all.
Pain and joy, we always were too smart.

We knew each other before.
And we will again my friend.
You told me a secret when we met,
And when gloom came, you said sorry.

No one needs to know or understand.
And l look up at the sky and hear clearly,
The wind, and trees and the breeze that follows.
And we walk together dreaming again.

This is not for you
Because you are gone
And I am left alone
Too deep, too much
So thank you very much
For leaving me deeper
Than most hope to be
But after all, that is me

So I am left behind
To burrow in clean sheets
And hope no one notices
But that is my style after all
To shine above it all
So I light a candle, and pray
But maybe the best thing is
To remember it all
The sunset, the moonlight.

The wind is mad, whipping
But I still peak out
Seeing shadows,
Future uncertain,
The selfish host.
But All come to visit

Full Empty
I eat and eat
Infinite space
To fill up

Martinis, wine
Like water
Cup after cup

Not like me
filling emptiness,
naked soul

try and try
To fill it up,
 to feel whole.

You are gone
And I’m left
Half whole
And full empty

It’s Autumn, here
Sinatra sings
And martinis sipped
Debates debated, authors confronted
And apple pies swim
Leaves rustle outside, and

The movies
Horror feature
And we sit alone
Screams, laughs, just us
I smile now
Remembering, and

Wicker Park
The only picture
Of you, on the corner
That actor, everyone said
Special moment, and

The Opera
Or was it a play
You in a suit, I in a dress
Sipping Champagne
Glimpses and snickers
We laugh back, and

The woods
Walking, goodbyes
Confessions, confusion
Professed love, some ways
 Loved you too, still do

Fear, tears, day one
Hope, dreams, day two
Disappointment, angers day three
Depression, resentments, day four
Detachment, silence, you, day five
Shock, numbness, day six, and

All this takes over
You and me
What we had
And I hide, or refuse
To comfort others
It was just, you and me

It's an Island
It’s an Island, I see that now
Mysteries still mysteries
Did you see it all?
Running faster than any horse
Destiny after all, you knew
Dreaming, haze, I see you

It’s an Island, I see that now
Water washing and drowning
Place of nightmares and fears
Again I’m running, running fast
The thrill, the rush, the confidence

It’s an Island, I see that now
Sweet solitude, nature and soul
Breeze full of whispers, listen
Trees are singing in the night
Sliver moon brimming full

It’s an Island, I see that now
I’ll meet you there
On a bench in the park
We’ll dance in the rain
And be together again

It’s an Island, I see that now
Bottle washes up on shore
Did the words mean enough this time?
The angry sea tumbles forth
And I’m running again, determined

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