Friday, November 26, 2010

Forgiveness is acceptance

The holiday season is officially upon us! A time of joy, love, cheer, celebration, family, presents and great food. It is the time of year we consciously reflect upon the people and things we are thankful for. Or so it “should” be. However, the holidays can also be a stressful and even depressing time for some people. No more are the things we are missing in our lives more magnified. When we are reminded of the broken bonds with family, or the strains we may be experiencing. When holiday dinners more closely resemble World War 3 than the greeting card we expect (assuming everyone else’s family does but ours).  The truth is, no family is perfect and without their issues and dramas.  And yes, sometimes we are even more aware of them after a few holiday cocktails. Depending on your situation, the pain and disappointment may have been building for years. And as the holidays approach you may feel the need to forgive someone who has wronged you.  

If you are ready to forgive that person or people, then make the call and have that conversation to share your feelings.  I used the word share, not confront. Confrontation is not forgiveness, but the placing of blame and judgment. Confrontations are Ego driven and the Ego loves to play victim and feel justified. To truly forgive is to accept the person for who they are, and know they will never be the person you want them to be. Your journey is no more important in God’s eyes than someone else’s, for we are all equal. Therefore, you must accept the past and have no expectations for the future. Forgiveness is acceptance. If you choose you are not ready to forgive someone this year, that’s OK. Instead, forgive yourself. Accept yourself for who you are and release all of the guilt, the responsibility, the pain and the shame that you have been carrying on your shoulders. Enter the New Year reborn and renewed, with a lighter step and a lighter soul from releasing any resentment that you have been carrying upon your shoulders.  Love your self, be kind to your self and celebrate yourself. You deserve it!

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