Monday, July 30, 2012

Gliding on the path of self awareness.

After my last post about the swan as a totem animal, or reflection of my true self and dreams of my soul, I continued my self exploration and research.  I bugged my poor husband with helping me determine if the Lion or Swan represented me more by reading the animal totem description for each from Ted Andrew's book "Animal Speak". I didn't tell him which animals I was reading, but just asked him if either or neither sounded like me. After reading both Lion and Swan, my husband said both! Hmmm, the Swan and Lion seem so opposite in so many ways but I could not deny that both represent a part of me. Although I must admit it was quite frustrating too, can't I just be simple with a simple answer?

I continued my research during my free time, being pregnant and living in Las Vegas during 100 degree summer days and working from home on a part time basis luckily allows me a lot of free time.  I came across something interesting last night. I was rereading a book I own on Kindle about numerology in an attempt to make me sleepy so I can go to bed at a reasonable hour, and realized that I posses both the Arrow of Determination and the Arrow of Spirituality in my numerology birth chart. No one else I know, my family or close friends posses these. In short, the Arrow of Determination indicates that I have willpower, confidence, organization and leadership qualities (Lion?!). Whereas the Arrow of Spirituality indicates that I have spiritual awareness, compassion, nurturing, and a peaceful demeanor (Swan?!).  It all seemed to click for me in that moment. I can be, and posses the traits of both!  Bring in to play the numbers of  Life Path and Maturity, my life path is a 1 which embodies all of the qualities of the Arrow of Determination and the Lion, and my Maturity number is  a 6 which very much embodies the characteristics of the Arrow of Spirituality and the Swan. However, as I am maturing and my life is changing I am starting to walk more the path of Spirituality than Determination.  Makes sense as I started this blog 2 years ago and was quite surprised it took a turn toward Spirituality. I also didn't want to run the rat race of ambition anymore and started putting more emphasis on my family.  I felt overwhelmed with the feeling that I need to leave the job I was in and focus more on being available more for my family, and have another baby.

As I contemplate my future I definitely see me continuing on the path of the Swan. I am no longer interested in material accomplishments and ego drives for leadership and power.  I see for myself a calm and balanced future filled with being home with my children, and eventually starting a new career that brings with it more spiritual fulfillment.  I would like to return to school and seek a path of counselor as it has always come naturally to me. A big step was starting this blog. As I went through my own self discovery and spiritual awareness, I took much joy in sharing the journey with others in the hopes of inspiring others.

Life is an amazing journey, and we are all here to learn, grow and contribute.  There are many paths to do this...astrology, numerology, yoga, meditation, reading, self reflecting, learning from adversity.
I am truly excited for the metamorphosis that is occurring, and yet to come as I keep gliding on the path of self awareness!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

From tiger to swan, a journey of self discovery.

As we mature through life and seek to connect with our higher self, we come across images of ourselves which may be inconsistent with how other see us.  Often times we are hard at portraying an image to the outside world that does not reflect our true self.  This may be done for various reasons, such as protecting ourselves, achieving goals, or as a way of borrowing strength to complete a transformation.  For example, I went through a difficult time in my life in a work environment. I felt I needed to display more aggression then I was comfortable with. This was the time I began to really dive into self exploration through astrology, numerology and animal guides/totems.  I felt under attack and threatened by my supervisor, and so I wanted badly to be perceived as a Tiger.  I drew upon the power of the tiger to be left alone by the one who threatened me.  However, ultimately I had come to realize the true me was not a tiger.

As I explored to find the animal that best represented my true self, I solicited feedback from family, friends and co-workers. I had family and friends tell me Swan, Snow Owl, Eagle and Lioness.  I had several coworkers tell me they saw me as a Swan, and even a Dove. A far stretch from the tiger I so badly wanted to be perceived as at work, I thought "no, I am a tiger! I rip the heads off of doves!". I ultimately left that job, and as I explored myself and animal totems further, felt a strong connection to the Lioness. It seemed a good fit for parts of my personality, especially my fierce loyalty, nurturing and protection toward my family.  As I began a new job in a much more healthy and nurturing environment I consciously tried to express my true self.  Right out the gate I found much success in my new position.  I felt surely this was because I was expressing my true self, therefore I thought that meant I was expressing qualities of the Lioness: power, strength, decisiveness. I thought that was why I was finding so much positive feedback and even awe to my "raw talent and natural abilities" as quoted by both supervisors and clients alike.  However, as I got to know my manager better we would have lengthy discussions. She being a very open person to talk to, we somehow got onto the subject of totem animals.  She said she saw me as a bird "pretty, nurturing and free".  Here I was thinking I was  displaying the traits of a Lioness, so I was shocked to again be perceived as a soft, graceful, carefree and nurturing bird animal.  Although I was being myself  from the start, I was still surprised at how different the qualities I saw in myself were from how my manager perceived me.

Even further, as I dove deeper into studies of my astrology and numerology charts I discovered my Soul Urge and Maturity numbers are both 6.  In numerology the Soul Urge number represents the person your soul desires to become and the Maturity number reveals the person you will become-the true self, which usually emerges at the age of 30-35.  In numerology, the number 6 represents beauty, grace, nurturing, humanitarian, deep love of home and family, and art (including fashion and Interior Design).  No wonder my background is in Psychology, Interior Design and Luxury retail. As I turned 30 and got married and started my family, my focus shifted from career ambitions to home and family life. The new job that I took is part-time and working from home, so I can spend more time being a mommy and a wife. The number 6 is also associated with the Swan and Dove! 

Regardless of what animal, Icon or symbol we relate to or feel most comfortable projecting, we are on the journey to discovering and becoming our beautiful true self.  Life's journey brings with it challenges and lessons that uncover the strengths and talents we are to  develop, so we can contribute them to the world.  Along the way we seek answers and we are always guided and protected, and provided with guides and symbols to light the path.  It's funny though that as we seek to understand or discover our true self, those on the outside can see us so clearly.

Inspiration of the day

Often time others see in us what we yet not see in ourselves.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Cages...a poem

Cages flap
Wings wild
Journeys long
Always searching
Looking up
Answers far
Mystery only
To self

Cages clink
Claws sharp
Restless paces
Fearing power
Deep inside
Others follow
Only lost
To self

Cages shine
Sunlight bright
Behind paces
Crawling forward
Sun setting
Dark corners
Sun moon
Balances together
To self

Shine for you...a poem

Shine for you
My little stars
Burning bright
You will always
Find the way
From vastness
Back home

Grab life
My little warriors
Fearless only
Conquer all
World awaits
Such greatness
Needs expression

Respect all
My little angels
Kindness rules
Over fools
Never loose
True confidence
Deep inside

Take comfort
My little pumpkins
Never fear
You are loved
Always forever
All the stars
Shine for you