Sunday, August 5, 2012

Selfishness, a positive lesson from the Fly

Last night I dreamt of a small fly flying right into my face as I was laying in my bed. It seemed so real and startled me awake.  The Fly totem animal brings a lesson of taking the necessary time to be selfish by putting your rest above the needs of others.  Fly totem also means persistence, a healthy ego, and the strength to ask for what you want when you want it.

I just had a conversation about this with a friend last night. I told her how I had to have a conversation with my husband about the importance of him taking on more of the familial responsibilities as I need more down time to rest during my pregnancy. That right now I have to put my unborn baby first, which means putting myself first too.  In a way I had to stand up, almost demand, time out for myself during my pregnancy.  Being a wife and mom brings many responsibilities, along with work responsibilities.  It is hard to find time for yourself.  However, when you are pregnant you have your health and that of your unborn baby to think of first.  This is a strange twist for many women because when you tell your husband you need to take a nap and skimp on your share of the responsibilities, there are feeling of guilt that come along with that.  It is important to remember in those moments that you are not asking to go lounge eating grapes and get fanned while he does all the household chores. Instead, it is about putting your health and rest first.

 Making a baby is tough work, and takes a huge toll on your body.  I had to learn the hard way with my last pregnancy when I ignored every one's advice to "take it easy" and ended up on doctor ordered bed rest for a week.  Now I have to stand up for, and in a way demand, my down time.  But, you don't have to be pregnant to demand time for yourself to recharge.  We all need time to rest and reconnect with the self.  It is during our quiet moments alone that we truly reflect on things and have a dialogue with our higher self.  The term "selfish" has such negative connotations in our society, and can especially be a stigma for woman.  Being selfish is actually healthy and positive when done in balance. It allows one the ability to follow ones path, achieve one's goals, and to love and respect yourself.  Which ultimately makes for a happier and more balanced you that all can benefit from.  Taking time for self is also very important in a relationship. Couples need time and activities alone to nurture the individual within the relationship. 

So take a lesson from the wise Fly and be a little selfish from time to time. Be persistent and relentless when seeking out to achieve your goals.  Don't worry about  "annoying" or putting others off for a while with your self importance and selfishness.  Have the strength to ask for what you need when you need it.  Love yourself enough to put yourself fist sometimes.  Be an individual in a partnership.  Such mighty lessons from such a little creature!

                                                        

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